The Dreamer

I just don’t understand why people treat me the way that they do.

I’ve always been such a good friend to everyone, but that doesn’t seem to matter at all.

I guess i’ll have to be my own friend. But that doesn’t sound like  good idea, I might betray myself like everyone else had betrayed me!!

I think the reason that I am looking for something in all the wrong places is because I have never really felt loved from a single person that wasn’t family. Even then, they find a way to go behind my back.

Maybe it’s because I’m naive, and i just choose to see the good in everyone around me…

I don’t know what it is, but I know the day will come when I am no longer here and those so called friends of mine, will finally realize that I am one of the truest friends out there.

But then of course then would be too late.

I don’t want to spend my life with a face full of tears because every day I find out that another one of my “friends” was indeed not!!

I feel so overwhelmed sometimes! I just want to cry and scream!! I feel like i have to act like everything is okay, but at the moment, its really hard for me to do so. I try and fake a smile every now and then, but when i do, tears just start to flood my cheeks. I almost had a emotional breakdown, but i prayed and i got through that! 

My mind is going in circles and I don’t know which place is where, and what is what! How do I do this? I feel like life is passing me by, I have more responsibility and I’m not sure how to handle it sometimes!! 

All I can do to help me breathe is dream about peace and life all under control! So for now on if you see me, i will not cry,I will truly smile!! 

~The Dreamer